Can you tell that the show has lost a little bit of its spark for us since Amber was ousted... especially since two of the people who stabbed her in the back (Tina & Keith) are in the Final Two? Ok, we're a tad bitter.
So anyway, the Final Three received instructions regarding their final challenge, which initially involved walking by the extinguished torches of the previous 14 Survivors. They all pretended to look really sad and mopey about the whole thing, although we all know that they were laughing their butts off, thinking "bye bye, suckers!"
Jeff Probst was waiting for the gang as they ended their walk beyond all of the extinguished torches. We were all treated to a lengthy, reflective video that showed highlights of all of the former Survivors. This little video may have actually doubled the air time that had been dedicated to Nick during his stint on the show!
Keith used his idol to play hangman.
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Jeff Probst told the group to reflect on their time in the Outback, and to toss their idols into the river once they finished their deep thoughts. Meanwhile, undoubtedly there was someone hanging out downstream a little ways so they could retrieve the idols so they could sell them on eBay.
Oh goody! More time for reflection! And there's still an hour and twenty minutes left! Somebody please poke us when they're all done reflecting...
Time for Tribal Council slash Immunity Challenge! Jeff Probst surgically removed the Immunity Idol from Colby's neck to prepare for the ceremony. The challenge was a repeat of Survivor I's "Fallen Comrades" where they each had to answer questions about their former castaways.
The questions and answers were:
- Which former survivor would be the one to tell you to "work your magic?" (Alicia)
- What town is Rodger from? (Crittenden, KY)
- According to their survivor applications, who was the only member of the Barrimundi tribe with a masters degree? (Rodger)
Tina examines the Mystery Shorts during the final Immunity Challenge.
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- Who spent 12 years living in Germany? (Jerri)
- Who is this person (photo)? (Elisabeth's brother)
- What two Survivors have tattoos of Chinese characters? (Alicia & Jeff)
- Jeff & Alicia also wear jewelry on the same part of the body -- what is it and where do they wear it? (Thumb rings)
- Who's shorts are these? (Nick's) (NOTE: This question should have been pretty easy to answer -- couldn't they have just checked to see which of the jurors was naked from the waist down?)
- What is Elisabeth's boyfriend's name? (Tim)
- What college did Elisabeth and Tim attend? (Boston College)
- Who said on their application that they'd like to be on an island with the president or the Pope because they'd be most likely to be rescued? (Nick)
- Who stated on their application that their proudest accomplishment was being on the dean's list for five semesters? (Amber!)
Colby correctly answers "Amber" to the question about the Survivor that was on the dean's list for five semesters at college.
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Needless to say, Colby won immunity yet AGAIN -- his fifth in a row... For reasons that we'll probably never understand, Colby voted to zap Keith, putting him head to head with Tina in the final vote.
Colby & Tina headed back to camp to celebrate the accomplishment of making it to the Final Two, and of course to spend a bunch more time reflecting.
The jurors had a chance to do some... you guessed it... reflecting! Each juror talked a little bit about how they perceive their final decision making process. Leave it to Jerri to say, "I'm in a position of power again, and I like it!"
Amber talks about her decision-making process.
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Time for the Final Tribal Council -- a chance for Colby & Tina to state their cases to the jury. Tina asked the jury not to cast a vote based on "not getting their feelings hurt" because that's not what the game is about. In other words, "I'm in the Final Two and you're not... deal with it!" Colby noted that you must be a jack of all trades to win, and that he's not sure he is better than Tina. In other words, they were both wishy-washy and didn't really say much of substance to the jury.
Next, the jury had its chance to question the Final Two, even though we all known darned well that their minds are already made up before then, what with all the time they've had for reflecting and everything.
- Rodger said that both contenders had to lie, and asked Colby & Tina to reveal times that they had to be dishonest during the competition, and to justify whether they felt they played the game ethically. Tina noted that she had to have a strategic mind to play, and she felt that she played ethically. Colby said that he lied to Jerri about letting her enter the final three. He probably didn't feel too upset about it, really.
Amber quizzes the Final Two about their strategy and intentions for the prize money.
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- Amber asked what three things got them to this point, and what are the first things they'd do with the $1 million. Colby said that he never mentally "checked out of the game," that water kept him feeling well and that he took time to enjoy the game. He'd spend his money on a Harley, save a financially-strapped building that his father owns, and take care of his mom. Tina said her strategy, some help from Colby and "heart/God" got her there. She wants to pay off her house, her best friend's house, and to set up a fund to help needy families.
- Elisabeth asked which two jury members they would exclude from winning the prize if they could. Tina said Jerri & Rodger (Rodger? What's the deal with that?). Colby said Jerri & Keith. So we gather that Jerri wasn't a favorite.
- Keith asked how they used manipulation to get to where they are. Colby said that voting Mitchell off was manipulative... and Tina agreed, calling it strategy.
- Alicia asked what one thing they were proud of, and what they're least proud of. Tina was most proud of her "role as a tribe member" and her trait of giving, citing the instance where she threw an Immunity Challenge so that Keith could advance. Her least favorite moment was "every tribal council." Colby's least proud moment was realizing how little respect he has shown the land. His proudest moment was simply winning the bucket Immunity Challenge after starting out in last place.
- Nick (remember him?) asked if Mike hadn't had his accident, who would have been sitting in their places since the outcome of the game would likely have been different. Colby kissed Nick's butt by saying he would have been one, and perhaps Mike. Tina weaseled out by saying that she didn't know who would be in the Final Two since she didn't know them all that well, but maybe Mike would be one.
- Jerri wanted them to clear their consciences by offering to apologize to someone they "dissed" during the competition, perhaps herself for example. Tina apologized to Kel for the whole beef jerky thing, even though Kel wasn't a juror... Colby felt guilty about voting off Rodger, Elisabeth and Alicia. He certainly didn't regret ditching Jerri!
Amber casts her final vote for Colby.
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The Final Two had a chance to make a final plea to the jury, and Colby said that he had nothing to add. Tina offered some last words by comparing her strategy to their backgammon games, noting that nothing she was doing was personal, it was all about strategy. Blah blah blah.
Final Vote Time! Rodger voted for Colby; Elisabeth probably still voted for Rodger; Alicia voted for Tina; Keith probably voted for himself; Amber voted for Colby; Nick (remember Nick?) voted for somebody; Jerri voted for Tina -- she has finally given up on Colby!
Jeff Probst said "Neener neener neener, I have the votes and you're not gonna hear 'em!" He said something to that effect anyway... The Michael Skupin Memorial Helicopter arrived to take Jeff Probst to a secret hideaway immediately following the vote so that nobody could mug him to find out who got the million bucks.
To show just how much power Mark Burnett actually has, the sun agreed to set a couple hours early so the helicopter ride could look more dramatic in a night sky over L.A.
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After perhaps the world's longest helicopter ride (we're assuming that Probst flew continuously in the chopper from mid-December when the taping ended to the final show May), Probst made a dramatic entrance at CBS Los Angeles to present the final vote to a much healthier looking tribe.
Before opening the final votes, Colby and Tina had a time to reflect. Ugh! JUST OPEN THE FREAKING VOTES! ENOUGH REFLECTING! Sorry, we're getting impatient...
Final vote... Tina 4, Colby 3. We'd write more, but we have to go find Tina's phone number to ask her for a loan, and claim that we're her long lost brothers... Wait! We're a needy family... yeah, that's it!
Colby congratulates Tina.
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To provide a little bit of a conclusion, we would like to offer our sincere thanks to those of you who have been reading our weekly commentaries, and for the encouraging e-mails. Most of all, we would like to extend our thanks to Amber and her family for their support, and for friendships we hope will continue for a long time to come. You're all class acts all the way!
We'll all look forward to Survivor III: Africa this fall!
Insightful Commentaries:
The Amazing Race
Survivor: All-Stars
Survivor: Australia
