Water Cooler Talk from Two Guys Wearing Sweaters
- Week 12 -
Did Amber look a little uncomfortable to you while she sat on the jury tonight? Oh, yeah... it must have been a little painful to sit there with all of those stab wounds in her back, thanks to Keith & Tina. Not that we're bitter!
The episode began with something we haven't seen much of this season -- the Survivors were talking about missing their families. The only reference to family members we can remember was way back in episode one, when Rodger got misty eyed because his family had written stuff in his Bible, which he was busily turning into kindling...
Not coincidentally, the reward challenge this week involved the opportunity to contact folks back home. The challenge itself was one that we could really get into, considering that we're computer geeks and all. We must admit that we got a little aroused by the idea of having a satellite dish hookup to the Internet in our yards...
Each person had a brief chance to say hello to their family via a chat session over the Internet at the "Outback Internet Cafe." Granted, each conversation sounded just like any other chat on the web:
SURVIVRDUDE: Hey, is anyone else here from Tulsa?
2COOLMOM: How's the weather?
COLBSTER: Are there any hot babes in this room?
Well, everyone got quite emotional as they typed their messages back home. Rodger hunted and pecked his way through a note to his family; Tina sent her love to her family; and Colby had an emotional exchange with his mom. Elisabeth had a brief conversation with her family, and the video from her home revealed that her dad is actually Penn and/or Teller.
 
Have you ever seen Penn and/or Teller and Elisabeth's dad in the same place at the same time? Neither have we. We don't think that's a mere coincidence.
|
Keith, also known as "carrot," chatted with his very attractive girlfriend, whose real name is "sweet pea." On TV it looked like it was raining outside, but it was actually five grown people bawling their eyeballs out.
The challenge itself involved asking survival-oriented questions to the families of the Survivors. Each family had to answer a series of questions... like, "In the Southern hemisphere, the sun rises in which direction?" and "True or false -- the Emu is the largest bird in the world?" And "Which Survivor is more evil, Keith or Tina?" Not that we're bitter.
Well, Tina's family scored the highest, earning her a half-hour online chat with them, as well as a $500 Visa shopping spree.
Keith somehow found a woman who is willing to marry him. Can we only assume that she thinks he won the million? Not that we're bitter...
|
Each of the Survivors had a chance to say farewell to their family members before Tina took over. Keith seized the moment to propose to his girlfriend. Defying all logic, she accepted. Now that "peas" and "carrots" will be tying the knot, we'll expect many years of happy salads and perhaps some little scallions running around through their home.
The online chats proved to be a rejuvenating experience, and everyone was all happy and giddy when they got back to camp. They even broke out the Nick Brown Memorial Frisbee for a while.
Colby starts a new fashion craze by wearing a yak on his head.
|
While Colby has indeed been winning numerous challenges lately, he apparently lost some sort of off-camera competition that forced him to wear the Really Ugly Hat. Our irrational fear of the week is that guys around the country will see Colby wearing this thing, and feel that it is the next major fashion trend since all we hear about is how every cute girl in the world is lusting for Colby. That's just what we all need.
Then the bickering about the rice began. Yes, even with Jerri long gone, it was still possible to have a mean-spirited rice-oriented argument. This time it was Colby who wanted to throttle Keith for using too much rice. Colby declared that he's absolutely definitely 100% positively certain that he is DONE... FINISHED with his "game with Keith"... no doubt about it! Of course he was lying, but what're ya gonna do.
Then everyone started talking about strategy, and how nice it was that Rodger is always helping out at the camp, helping with the fire, fishing, etc... so obviously he should be eliminated.
On to the Immunity Challenge! Each contestant was shackled in chains and left for dead in the middle of the woods. Whoops! That's only something we were hoping had happened to Keith & Tina, not that we're bitter.
Jeff Probst entertains everyone with some Outback Trivia.
|
But they really were chained up with a series of locks. Jeff Probst told a fascinating story about the history of the Outback, and that the group would use the story to answer questions that were associated with keys that could unlock them.
Of course, listening to Jeff Probst blither on and on caused some of the Survivors to temporarily lose consciousness, and a few of them remembered very little about what they were told. Rodger, for example, brought back fond memories of Survivor I, when Rudy went wandering through the woods answering "I dunno" to every question in a similar challenge.
Colby threatens to box Jeff Probst's brains out unless he forks over the Immunity talisman.
|
Well, "Mr. Immunity" Colby came out on top, surprise surprise. If you look closely, you'll actually see a rash on his neck from wearing the Immunity Necklass Thingy. This week was Colby's third straight win in the challenge.
After some more thought and strategy and whatnot, the group narrowly voted Rodger out of the tribe. Earlier Rodger had spoken privately to Tina about sacrificing himself to help Elisabeth in her quest for the million dollars. Rodger figured that she could probably use the money more than he could, and after all, who would the American public rather look at for another week: An aging shop teacher or Penn and/or Teller's attractive daughter?
Keith had quite a few votes, too, but he and his rice and peas and carrots and whatnot will be around for at least another week.
Of course there's not much we can say about Amber being as how she was OUSTED BY KEITH & TINA last week (not that we're bitter), but she was looking nice & healthy and well fed as she sat along with her fellow jurors this week. Don't forget to see our new Amber Sightings page as we attempt to post upcoming appearances.
And if you're looking for our special "A Long Blithering Personal Message from the Webmaster" from last week, you'll find it here.
Insightful Commentaries:
The Amazing Race
Survivor: All-Stars
Survivor: Australia
