Water Cooler Talk from Two Guys Who Look Alarmingly Similar
All-Stars: Week 2
Well, it's probably for the best that Kevin & Drew were eliminated from the race. It seemed that every minute they were on the show, Kevin was seeking new and unique ways of attempting to take his own life and/or the lives of others.
You may remember that in the first episode of the All-Stars edition, Drew spent much of the episode writhing around like a freshly-caught trout in the middle of a street. And things certainly didn't get any better for him this week.
Drew spent the entire race either near death or trying to become near death.
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Teams were instructed to head to Santiago, Chile to find the headquarters of Codelco, a copper mining company. Once at the company, the teams were instructed to barge into the board room where a bunch of extremely serious, boring-looking men were wearing suits and giving each other raises.
The teams had to find various letters that had been strewn around the room, and then rearrange them to spell the location of their next destination.
En route to the company headquarters, two teams managed to get themselves helplessly stuck in the Pothole of Doom. Since we happen to live in Pennsylvania, we have little pity for these two teams; our average potholes could swallow the space shuttle, making the one they encountered look like a minor roadway blemish.
Anyway, Charla & Mirna got stuck, as did Kevin & Drew (naturally). The two teams used rather radically different techniques to get out of this bind:
Method #1: The sane method.
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Method #2: Drew's patented Suicidal/Homicidal Method of Doom
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Once Kevin single-handedly pulled their SUV out of the pit, Drew realized that no one had actually become seriously injured during the incident, so he made every effort to spin off down the road with Drew bouncing merrily behind.
When Kevin and Drew got to the board room, Drew searched for potential ways he could become injured during this task, but apparently couldn't come up with a decent one. Since he didn't think about the idea of stapling himself in the forehead or jabbing himself in the heart with a pen, he let Kevin complete the task.
Team Guido flew to the next task in their own spaceship, affording them time to stop briefly at their home planet on the way.
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Several teams caught on pretty quickly, figuring out that the letters in the room could be rearranged to spell the name of a copper mine on the wall, but Joyce and a couple others spent so long working on it that the company officially renamed the room from the "board room" to the "bored room."
Once teams completed the task and boarded the plane (or "one of them there flying machines," according to David), Drew yanked David & Mary's luggage out of the overhead compartment in first class, scattering their carry-on chickens throughout the cabin.
Teams arrived at the Chuquicamata Open Pit Copper Mine, and learned that they needed to choose whether to do a task "By Hand," or "By Machine." The "Hand" challenge involved fastening a big honkin' wheel to a big honkin' truck, and the "Machine" challenge involved loading up some dirt and dumping it into the form of a manly pile.
Regardless of which task they were to perform, each team had to don dorky-looking safety outfits before proceeding. Drew was encouraged to wear several of the safety outfits in layers.
Dustin and Kandace display the grace and dignity they learned on the pageant circuit.
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We are sure we heard the "Beauty Queens" say the following semi-erotic quote while they were making their decision as to which task they would perform: "Tightening nuts doesn't sound that hard."
And speaking of semi-erotic quotes, we're trying to put this one out of our mind as Joe & Bill worked on the task: "Put it right on top of the pole!"
Rob & Amber finished the task with ease, and headed off to the Pit Stop, while some teams struggled tremendously. We definitely would not have wanted to be the next person to drive the big truck onto which David & Mary had just fastened a wheel in an extremely half-assed manner, for example.
The Pit Stop was at a place called the Valley of the Dead, obviously a fitting venue for Drew.
Drew's vehicle deviates from the 40km rule.
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Teams were instructed to drive at precisely 40 kilometers (or "K. Lomiters" according to Mary), en route to the Pit Stop, or the explosives on their bus would explode, or some such thing.
Not to pick on Mary (ok, well, we shall likely spend plenty of time picking on Mary as time goes on...), but we would be remiss in our duties if we failed to point out that, when faced with the decision of which way to turn on the way to the Pit Stop, she actually chose to turn right because the sign pointing in that direction "had the most words." She would make a very interesting travel agent.
Amber seemed to be pleased with winning a motorcycle.
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In the end, Rob and Amber finished in first place for the second week in a row. Phil rewarded them by giving them each their own motorcycle, which Rob and Amber will likely toss into their ever-growing Reality Show Prize Storage Facility.
Considering that tonight was also the Academy Awards Show, we think there should be a new category for "Person Most Grateful for Losing Something." And the winner is... Drew! He couldn't have been happier to be kicked off the show, immediately escorting himself away from the Pit Stop so he could find some way of becoming further injured.
Insightful Commentaries:
The Amazing Race: All-Stars
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Survivor: All-Stars
Survivor: Australia
