Water Cooler Talk from Two Guys Who Look Alarmingly Similar
Episode 6
We're betting that the Botswanians are extremely grateful for the leg of The Amazing Race that was filmed in their country. Not so much because it gave them a chance to show off their natural beauty to the world.
Not because the show drew attention to the plight of their people, and the hardships they endure on a daily basis.
No, they were undoubtedly overjoyed because, thanks to Lynn and Alex, their economy got a huge boost in the form of rental SUVs. More about that later.
Tonight's episode began as the six remaining teams were instructed to head 141 miles from the Makgadikgadi Pans to Sankuyo Village. The teams were told that their next clue awaited them underneath a water tower.
The brothers wisely choose to climb the tower to find the clue beneath it.
|
En route, the teams saw a wide variety of wildlife crossing the road in front of them. Rob and Amber enjoyed the sight of ostriches; and Lynn and Alex were amused by a herd of cows that were crossing in front of them.
At one point, Lynn noted that "It's weird when there are animals crossing the road." A moment after they passed, one of the cows quipped, "It's weird when there are gay guys driving through here. Moo."
Brothers Brian and Greg arrived at the water tower and decided to climb the water tower, despite the fact that the clue clearly said that their next hint would be under the tower.
Obviously the brothers have been confused between "up" and "down" ever since last week's episode, during which they wisely chose to drive their vehicle upside-down for several miles.
Lynn poses with a very concerned goat.
|
The clue at the water tower was a Detour, giving teams a choice between "carry it" or "milk it." The "carry it" option challenged the teams to balance a variety of food items and a bucket of water on their heads for about 70 yards, until they decide the hell with it, and opt to try the milk challenge.
The milk challenge prompted teams to frantically yank on the udder of a goat until they extracted enough liquid to fill a 10 ounce cup. You may think it would be tricky to milk a goat, but anyone who has seen the movie Meet the Parents will recall that it's possible to milk anything that has nipples.
Tribe women look forward to creating their own reality show: "Those Whacky Americans"
|
Most of the teams did start out with the "carry it" challenge, including Rob and Amber, and nearly everyone said the hell with it after showering themselves with water and bread sticks while haphazardly staggering around with these items on their heads, much to the amusement of local tribe women.
Uchenna and Joyce, who apparently have incredibly flat heads, did actually manage to zip through the balancing challenge, while everyone else was in a nipple fondling frenzy. (Truth be known, we have long been waiting to find an excuse to use the phrase "nipple fondling frenzy" in one of these commentaries.)
Uchenna and Joyce had an unfair advantage for the "carry it" challenge, with their unusually flat heads.
|
Once everyone was done with the nipple fondling frenzy (oops! Did we say that again!?), they were given instructions to head 21 miles through the bush to the Khwai River.
On this trip, Lynn and Alex blew up the first of several vehicles. They seemed to destroy quite a few of their vehicles, even though at one point we swear we heard one of them say something about how they were "good at driving stick." Just add that to the growing list of phrases we'll just put out of our minds.
At the river, the teams were presented with a Road Block, which only one member of the team could complete.
Amber was slightly pleased to learn she and Rob were in first place.
|
The chosen teammate had to navigate their vehicle through a crocodile-infested river, remove trees from their path, and then face off against Wanda, the Dancing Elephant of Doom.
Ok, we may have made the last part up -- frankly we lost track of what all they had to do thanks to the fact that we had to go to the bathroom at that particular point of the show.
Lynn and Alex navigated what was left of their vehicle into the river, where they were immediately eaten by a swarm of crocodiles. Or perhaps that was wishful thinking on our part.
Brian and Greg mysteriously dress up as The Yak Men of Santa Monica.
|
Meredith and what was left of Gretchen managed to negotiate the river pretty well, naturally keeping their right turn signal on at all times.
The ride through the brush also gave Ron and Kelly the chance to enjoy some quality bitching time with one another. Kelly accused Ron of telling her to "Shut the F up!" and then referred to him as a "Piece of Trash Redneck," terminology she apparently learned during her years as a beauty contestant.
Once everyone made it through the brush, and in the case of Ron and Kelly, through many creative uses of the f-word, the teams were told to head to the Pit Stop at the Khwai River Lodge, 9 miles away.
Just one of the incredible pieces of new footage we can eagerly anticipate on Wednesday night's special episode.
|
Once again, Rob and Amber managed to cross the finish line first, earning them yet another vacation. This time, they won a trip to the French Riviera (no relation to Geraldo), complements of Travelocity. Sooner or later, Rob and Amber will likely simply own Travelocity.
This time around, the merrily attired brothers Brian and Greg were the last to arrive, and they were sent home.
Tomorrow night, we'll be treated to the Dreaded Re-cap Show, filled with "never before seen" footage, which has probably never been seen for a good reason. You may have guessed that we're not big fans of the obligatory recap shows, but we will indeed change our tunes if the show happens to feature (you guessed it) a nipple fondling frenzy.
Previous Insightful Commentaries:
The Amazing Race
Survivor: All-Stars
Survivor: Australia
