Water Cooler Talk from Two Guys Who Look Alarmingly Similar
Episode 3
So it would seem that The Amazing Race has evolved into an entirely different game. Is it our imagination, or do teams seem to care a lot less about winning $1 million, and a lot more about simply beating Rob & Amber?
In the premiere episode, we heard Patrick blither on and on about his fixation with Rob & Amber. We tried to tabulate the number of times he mentioned them by name, but we lost count after we ran out of fingers, toes and other bodily protrusions (we lost count at 21).
Tonight, it was Lynn and Alex who took over the task of worrying about Rob & Amber, developing the rare and dreaded "Romber Fixation Syndrome" (or "RFS").
Early signs of RFS.
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Tonight's show began as the teams were instructed to drive several hours through the Andes mountains to Puente Viejo in Argentina.
Rob felt a little upset with Debbie & Bianca ("Allegedly Just Friends") after they accused him of lying last week, merely because he was lying to them. So Rob and Amber immediately stole the girls' cab in order to get a quicker ride to the car rental location. Next thing you know, those wacky gals will accuse him of stealing!
Meredith, of the Geezer Couple, stereotypically managed to navigate the entire 150-mile trip at 30 mph while wearing a hat and while keeping his right turn signal on at all times, as a precaution.
In a desperate attempt to fit in with the younger teams, Meredith adopts a mohawk hair style.
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Patrick and Susan apparently really liked Santiago, and chose to circumnavigate the city several dozen times rather than head toward Argentina.
Debbie & Bianca could have chosen a time-tested method that would have gotten them to their destination promptly (namely, "follow another team") but they chose a different route ("explore the rest of the continent first, perhaps so they could brag about their ability to speak fluent Spanish").
At the checkpoint in Puente Viejo, the teams were given the choice to "Paddle or Pedal." Teams could either paddle a raft seven miles down a raging river, or pedal a bike along a train track for the same distance to the next checkpoint.
Debbie and Bianca enjoy their views of some fjords.
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Rob and Amber chose the raft, and they found themselves in a heated race with Lynn and Alex, who used their RFS malady to give them extra adrenalin.
We could tell that Meredith was secretly hoping to take the bike ride on the tracks since there was always the chance that a train could come along and thwack his obnoxious wife, but Gretchen wisely persuaded him to take the raft option instead.
Naturally, once Meredith and Gretchen boarded their raft, they proceeded down the river with the right turn signal activated for the entire journey.
Debbie and Bianca attempt to learn exactly which portion of Yugoslavia they are in.
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Upon completing the trip, the teams were instructed to drive another 70 miles to the city of Mendoza where they would have the opportunity to participate in the "Call Ralph on the Porcelain Phone" challenge at a place called Camping Suizo.
While many of the teams made their way to the next checkpoint, the producers of the show used sophisticated military satellites in an attempt to locate Debbie & Bianca. They had last been spotted, kissing, just outside Winnipeg, Manitoba.
At the Road Block, each team had to choose a person to chow down on a feast of disgusting Argentinean delicacies. It turns out that native Argentineans spend much of their waking hours barfing, since their idea of fine dining includes various intestines, kidneys, brains, udders and other random glop that God really didn't mean for man to be eating.
Uchenna enjoys a hearty appetizer...
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...while Deana wolfs down a Spleen de Jour.
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Rob and Alex began to force down some of the glop, until Rob realized that he could opt out of this task and still potentially be in decent contention in the race.
Alex utilized the popular "eat... hornk... eat... hornk" method of devouring his food while Rob and Amber accepted a four-hour penalty.
Debbie and Bianca finally have a chance to use their knowledge of the Korean language.
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For the next several minutes of the show, we had the lovely opportunity to watch several people pick at the food, hornk, pick, hornk, pick, suffer from RFS, hornk, etc.
We definitely took pleasure while watching Patrick stuff various entrails into his mouth while his mommy scolded him. You could tell that he wasn't going to get to go outside to play until every one of those brains had been cleaned off his plate.
Alex & Lynn managed to be the first to cross into the Pit Stop at the Estancia San Isidro ranch, where they engaged in a strange, RFS-related ritual dance.
Alex and Lynn do a peculiar RFS-induced dance...
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...while Phil ponders seeking medical help for the couple.
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Amber and Rob finished this leg of the trip respectably in 5th place. Debbie & Bianca, spotted hugging on the shore of Reykjavik, Iceland, were contacted via satellite phone to alert them that they were in last place, and were therefore eliminated from the competition.
We're already looking forward to next week; who will catch the RFS bug next!?
Previous Insightful Commentaries:
The Amazing Race
Survivor: All-Stars
Survivor: Australia
