Water Cooler Talk from Two Guys Who Look Alarmingly Similar
Episode 10
We suspect that a lot of people will be much more sober than normal while viewing next week's 2-hour finale of The Amazing Race now that Meredith and Gretchen have been eliminated. Why you ask?
Well, we've learned that some folks have turned the show into a drinking game; every time Gretchen says, "OOOoooh Gawd Meredith!" everyone has to take a swig of their favorite adult beverage.
As a result, many viewers these past several weeks have found themselves completely inebriated by the time the first commercial break comes along.
Spinning Dervishes, a group that worships God by getting dizzy while wearing plant holders on their heads.
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The teams began tonight's leg of the race with instructions to head ten miles to the Sirkeci Train Station to find the "Spinning Dervish." Or possibly the Derving Spinnish... or Sparring Dinnish. Definitely something along those lines.
Whatever they were called, it turned out to be a bunch of eerie-looking people who warble around in circles to worship their God, who is apparently very appreciative of dizzy followers. These folks looked as though they could have been playing their very own version of an Amazing Race drinking game.
The Dizzy Worshipping Cult provided teams with a clue to head off to England, where they had to find a crosswalk featured on the Beatles album, Abbey Road.
Kelly obtains the absolute bare necessities she'll need for the race.
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Ron and Kelly, who had come in last place during the last leg, were forced to beg for money since their belongings had been confiscated. They were able to collect a good sum of cash, which Ron had hoped to spend on necessities like taxi rides and perhaps some food.
Kelly, however, felt that the money could be better spent on some new eyeliner, lipstick, foundations, concealer, powders, blush, mascara, body lotion, pitchfork, and a superfluous "English to English" dictionary.
Once Rob and Amber arrived in England, they immediately went about the first task any of us would typically do upon landing in a strange environment: find someone to kidnap.
Kidnap victim Stewart eyes an escape route while Rob and Amber plan their next move.
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This time, Rob and Amber abducted a man named Stewart who they forced to guide them through London. Their first stop was the London Eye, a giant eyeball along the River Thames. Teams had to spot a flag from this attraction which would point them to their next clue.
The next clue was a Detour, giving teams the option of "Brains or Brawn." The brains challenge provided a series of riddles that the teams -- or their hostages -- would have to decrypt. The brawn challenge involved moving a series of boats from a lake to a storage area.
Gretchen and Meredith demonstrated that their brains were so fried that they actually thought they were better suited to handle a physical challenge than a mental one.
Teams must locate The London Eye attraction.
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Rob and Amber made good use of their kidnap victim, who led them to the "Three Naked Men of Hammersmith," and eventually to a man pretending to be Sherlock Holmes.
Sherlock provided them with instructions to head to the Millennium Dome, which is the world's largest building in the shape of a porcupine.
There, teams could choose to Yield fellow competitors by inflicting a time penalty on them.
The Millennium Dome, the world's largest porcupine-shaped building.
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Rob and Amber arrived at the mat first and chose to yield Ron and Kelly, allowing the former POW and beauty queen more quality bitching time with one another. They also used the time to exercise their creativity by defacing a photo of Rob and Amber.
Needless to say we were quite offended by this childish display. If their positions had been reversed and Rob and Amber had been yielded, clearly they would have at least used different colors to brighten up the graffiti on Ron and Kelly's faces.
At the Road Block, one team member had to attempt to pass a driving test in a double-decker bus while their teammate screeched helpful obscenities at them from the sidelines.
Gretchen has another very close call with the Frightening World of Obscenities.
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Needless to say, once Meredith attempted this task, he was continually penalized for driving the entire time with his left turn signal on, prompting Gretchen to come as close as she has come the entire race to uttering an actual swear word. She nearly said a bad word as she shouted, "Shiiiii.... eeeeoooot!" at her husband.
When Kelly managed to finish the driving test, Ron gave her a peck on the cheek as they rode toward the Pit Stop in a cab. Remember the scene in the movie A Christmas Story where Ralphie's friend got his tongue frozen to a flagpole? Ron got a similarly warm reception from Kelly in that situation.
Ron plants a loving kiss on Kelly.
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Rob finished the driving task relatively quickly, and he and Amber crossed the Pit Stop at Potter's Field first, earning them yet another prize, this time in the form of a JVC entertainment center. "Just throw it on top of our pile of prizes," Rob instructed Phil.
Every week that Gretchen and Meredith have managed to survive in the race, they seemed genuinely shocked that they had actually made it another leg. So this week was perhaps the first time they crossed into a Pit Stop and weren't surprised, as Phil told them that they had been eliminated.
Say what you will about these folks. Gretchen and Meredith may have been one of the oldest teams in the race, but they were also certainly among the most annoying. Um, we mean endearing. We suppose.
Next week, it's the Big Finale, as we find out who walks away with the million bucks. The previews certainly look interesting! Rob and Amber apparently have an encounter with the police, presumably as the result of a kidnapping situation. And Kelly breaks down in tears, presumably as she again runs low on lipstick.
Previous Insightful Commentaries:
The Amazing Race
Survivor: All-Stars
Survivor: Australia
