Water Cooler Talk from Two Guys Who Look Alarmingly Similar
Week 9
Geez, seems like it has been ages since our last visit to the Water Cooler! We're glad to have things back on track, with Survivor back on Thursday nights, just as God intended.
We must say, the show just seems to get better and better. Since Rich has been gone, there has been much less obese male nudity; since Sue has been gone, there has been much less... well, Sue; and after tonight's show there will be about a 99.8% reduction in random, senseless whining.
Rupert and Tom provide their own unique wake-up call.
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The show opened with the first light of dawn hitting the Chapera camp. We have personally been accused of "sawing logs" over the years, as certain occupants of our home tell us that we snore loudly enough to affect the tides. However, at Chapera, Rupert and Big Tom were literally sawing logs at dawn.
We can only imagine how much fun it must be at Rupert's home (or cave?) as his family probably wakes up to the soothing shouts of "T-I-M-B-E-R!" when it's time to go to school, or time to chase off a mastodon as the case may be.
This is a spider we had to kill while writing this column, lest you think this job comes devoid of any serious danger.
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The Mogo Mogo tribe woke up to similarly annoying noises, specifically, the sounds of Jerri whining, yet again. This time she thought she'd whine about the weather. "It's wet all the time," she complained. "It's really starting to take its toll on me."
To Jerri we offer our deepest sympathy: Boo, freakin' hoo. We live in Pittsburgh, where it has not only been raining every day, but we saw more snow tonight, and it has been windy, and our hair has just not been right for weeks.
Soon the tribes received Tree Mail, which included cans of paint in tribal colors. The Mogo Mogans probably considered painting Jerri's mouth shut, but they appeared to be afraid of the paint and decided they'd simply stare at it for a while.
After discussing how to use the paint, Lex decides perhaps they were supposed to use it to get high.
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The Chaperans used the paint to decorate one another to make them look a bit more fierce, and perhaps a little more... well... dorky. We never did quite learn what the paint was supposed to be for. Of course it would have been cool had the tribes decided to paint Jeff Probst with it, turning him into a red and green Christmas decoration or something.
Anyway, the point of gathering the teams was to give members of opposing tribes the opportunity to visit with one another while snorking down a variety of snacks. The gang split into groups of two and were given the opportunity to share their innermost secrets with one another, thinking the tribes were about to merge.
Jeff proudly displays his new Buff Pottery.
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Once everyone ran out of secrets, Jeff announced that it was time for everyone to change the name of their tribe to the opposite tribe. At least that's what it amounted to. Everyone had to grab a new buff out of a fancy hunk of pottery, but each tribe remained intact with one big exception.
Amber was swapped off to the opposite tribe, which was really her own tribe. So she wasn't swapped at all. Everyone else was swapped. Does that make sense? Whatever the case, the Chapera tribe is now the Mogo Mogo tribe, and the Mogo Mogo tribe is the Chapera tribe, with the exception of Amber who is still on the Chapera tribe, but has to share her toothbrush with the Mogo Mogo tribe, which is now Chapera. Or something like that.
In any case, this was a Big Bummer for the Chapera tribe, which is now, well, Mogo Mogo. And clearly Amber was worried that her head would be on the chopping block now that she is a member of Chapera. Wait, on second thought, she has been a member of Chapera all along, so perhaps everyone else should worry that their heads should be on the chopping block, wouldn't you think?
Tom & Jerri discuss their plans for a new cartoon, dubbed, appropriately enough, Tom & Jerri.
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Ok, we're going to have a drink now.
Ahhh... that tasted good.
So everyone got adjusted to their new homes. The new Chapera tribe was thrilled to see that the camp was an awesome architectural masterpiece, including a swing, awesome sleeping quarters, and, oddly enough, an orchestra pit.
The new Mogo Mogo group was a tad bit disappointed in their new camp, considering their dishes were covered with what appeared to be ants and a collection of armpit hairs.
Each tribe was welcomed to their new home with a fancy Welcome Basket, which included more alcohol, which Tom has running through his veins where most people keep their blood.
Cameras get a really flattering shot of Jerri's teeth.
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The new Mogo Mogo gang felt genuinely crappy that Amber was no longer with them, especially considering the current state of Rob and Amber's *wink* *wink* alliance.
The Immunity Challenge was a Survivor Trivia contest, with questions coming from every former series. Not to brag, but we personally kicked butt in this competition, and we would have been a handy addition to either tribe.
Many of the questions were quite easy. One of the questions was, "In the Pearl Islands, which castaway had to be rescued by tribemates during a water challenge?" You probably remember that episode, where muscle-bound but rather pathetic Osten was dragged out of the water. We're sure you also remember that Osten became the first player ever to simply quit Survivor, claiming that his body was his "temple," and that he was becoming a Temple of Doom or some such thing.
Cameras capture an even more flattering shot of Jerri's teeth.
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Forgive us for a bit of a digression here, but this gives us a perfect chance to tell an honest-to-goodness true story from last weekend. We had a unique opportunity to play volleyball with Osten in Cincinnati on Saturday during a charity event.
We will admit that Osten seemed to be a great guy. He was very friendly, down-to-earth, and a lot of fun to hang around. But we must also admit that we found it more than just a little bit ironic that he was the first person to quit the volleyball game.
Anyway the Immunity Challenge Trivia Contest came down to one question to break a tie: "Name the first person voted off each Survivor, in order." The answer, of course, was, "What's-her-face, what's-her-face, what's-her-face, what's-his-face, what's-his-face, what's-his-face, and what's-her-face."
We played volleyball with Osten this weekend. At least for a while...
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The new Chapera tribe forgot the last what's-her-face, sending them off to the dreaded Tribal Council.
Amber, knowing that she was odd person out, did some maneuvering to help her stay in the game. Plus Boston Rob whispered to Amber's new tribe that perhaps they should consider keeping her in the game, at least if they enjoy having all of their arms and legs intact.
In the end, Jerri was sent back home, where she was last seen playing volleyball with Osten. At least for a while...
PS - Check out more of our Cincinnati photos here. And we encourage you to support Reality4Diabetes if you can spare a dime...
Insightful Commentaries:
The Amazing Race
Survivor: All-Stars
Survivor: Australia
