Water Cooler Talk from Two Guys Who Look Alarmingly Similar
Week 8
Judging by the hype we've seen in recent days, we were expecting to see some really steamy scenes involving Boston Rob and Amber's "alliance." We figured at a bare minimum we'd be seeing them engage in some sort of naked ho-down on the beach or something.
But nothing that explicit ever happened. The height of the steaminess was when they -- hold on to your hats! -- shared a kiss. There wasn't even a parental advisory for the scene, and CBS has been putting up parental advisories for everything lately, including a recent warning to parents alerting them that there was an upcoming scene involving a naked fish.
Kathy & Rupert will appear on the cover of next week's TV Guide after this romantic gesture.
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To put things into perspective we should note that there were two other kissing incidents during tonight's episode, and there was virtually no hype involved at all. We witnessed a smooch between Jerri and Lex, and, disturbingly enough, we saw Kathy and Rupert exchanging a brief kiss as well.
But, on the bright side, Amber & Rob's relationship put them on the cover of TV Guide this week, at least in most of the country. Right here in Amber's back yard, TV Guide chose to feature a University of Pittsburgh basketball player on the cover. And he wasn't even kissing anything.
Anyway, tonight's show began with Kathy moping around at the empty Mogo Mogo camp as the rest of the tribe was hanging out at Tribal Council. When the group returned to camp, they realized that Colby had left his Giant Texas Cowboy hat behind, which means that somebody, somewhere is probably seeing a parental advisory, warning them that Colby's head is naked.
Jerri takes a break from whining to celebrate being a genius.
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Jerri spent some time cackling to herself, knowing that she lasted longer in the game than Colby, thereby making her the most savvy Survivor player in the history of the game. She later had another delusion that she was also an expert marksman, which we'll discuss in a bit.
The tribes received Tree Mail, explaining that each tribe should pick one member to visit the opposing tribe's camp. They were told to bring along a Mystery Letter to be read when they reached their destination. Jenna Lewis made the trip over to Mogo Mogo, while Kathy visited her counterparts at Chapera.
The Mystery Letter explained that they were to make a list of three items they'd like to steal from the opposing tribe as part of the next Reward Challenge.
Amber gives Jerri the Look of Doom while competing in the Reward Challenge.
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The challenge itself involved a delicate balancing act on a spinning log-like structure. Clearly it would take a lot of talent, coordination and a strong mind for individuals to out-balance their opponents and send them into a pit of water. And clearly it was wise to let Big Tom sit out this challenge for Chapera.
Not to sound biased or anything, but Amber kicked some major butt in this competition, even though her own butt was smoking at the time (more about that later). We saw Amber take on two opponents: Jerri and Kathy.
Amber blew them both away, and maintained her balance until she was good & ready to get off the log. To all of those who said Amber didn't deserve to appear on the All-Star series, we would like to offer the following words of wisdom: Neener, neener, neener.
Ethan thinks he has the best hat for the Funny Hat Competition.
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Amber kicks Ethan's butt in the Funny Hat Competition.
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Jenna L. paid a visit to the Mogo Mogo tribe, where they changed their strategy from "Outwit, Outplay, Outlast" to: "Beg for Mercy." Jenna arrived in order to collect the items her tribe had won for the Chapera gang. As an act of good will, Jenna donated a roll of toilet paper to the Mogo Mogo tribe, presumably since their tribe had been doing such a crappy job at the challenges.
Jenna began to collect the Mogo Mogo gang's fishing spear, a bag of rice and a grill, when the begging began. The Mogoans did some high-pitched whining and asked for mercy regarding the plundering of their rice supply. Jenna acted as a humanitarian by allowing them to keep three grains of rice to share amongst themselves.
Rupert explains how much he loves his fishing rod.
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Back at Chapera, Boston Rob was making romantic moves on Amber while Rupert was having similar thoughts about the tribe's new fishing rod. Rupert really liked the new fishing pole, as he gently caressed it as the romantic sounds of the sea filled the air.
Speaking of romantic, we never realized just how suave and poetic Boston Rob was. Shakespeare himself couldn't have possibly written words nearly as captivating and as sensual as those used by Rob as he professed his feelings for Amber: "Ambuh is slammin'!"
Amber expresses relief after extinguishing her ass in the water.
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Rob also noted that Amber's "ass is smokin'." We couldn't help but recall that the last time someone mentioned that our personal ass was smokin', we were in an elevator, and people were trying to edge away from us, so we're not sure whether this was meant to be a compliment.
Once the gang at Chapera safely extinguished Amber's ass, they headed off to the Immunity Challenge. The tribes had to compete in a series of events where they had to project various pointy objects at a giant dartboard. They used blowguns, spears and a bow and arrow in order to gain ground in the game.
In the final round, each team chose one person to shoot a bow and arrow to ultimately determine the winner. Chapera chose Boston Rob; Jerri decided that she was her tribe's best marksperson based on her vast experience.
Ethan is thrilled with tonight's vote.
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Well, it turns out that the closest Jerri has ever been to an arrow was when she was in the turning lane at her local Wal-Mart, based on her performance. There are likely still some poor squirrels scampering through the Pearl Islands with misdirected arrows stuck in their backs.
Anyway, the Chapera Tribe sailed to victory yet again, sending the Mogoans to Tribal Council where they evicted Ethan.
Rumor has it that next week's episode is the annual Really Thrilling Recap Episode that they tend to promote as "Never Before Seen Footage!" but which, when translated into English, really means, "Boring Stuff We Wouldn't Dare Putting in a Normal Episode." We'll keep a pillow handy...
Insightful Commentaries:
The Amazing Race
Survivor: All-Stars
Survivor: Australia
