Water Cooler Talk from Two Guys Who Look Alarmingly Similar
Week 5
So did you catch the clever use of foreshadowing in tonight's episode? During the Immunity Challenge, Jeff Probst noted that a member was going to be voted out of a tribe tonight. Sure enough, Richard Hatch and his member were sent home. We'll certainly miss them both, and we're certain that the CBS guys in charge of blurring Rich's member will finally get a well-deserved vacation.
Tonight's episode began with an ominous parental warning, as though Janet Jackson's breast was going to suddenly wash ashore or something. We wondered whether we were in for some extra-steamy shots of Rob & Amber's "alliance."
Actually, we strongly suspect that it was indeed Janet's infamous Super Bowl performance that prompted the network to post the advisory, apparently in anticipation of Rich's alarming, pseudo-erotic dance he did during the Immunity Challenge. We suppose that we're going to see this warning practically every week now, or at least during weeks that feature Sue in a bikini.
Sue christens her vessle with a lift of the leg.
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The Chapera gang, which seems to participate in an unusual quantity of dancing, launched into full Ho-Down Mode as they noticed they had new Tree Mail. The message instructed them to use some materials to build a raft that they'll use in a race. Sue suggested that Tom should sit out at the challenge since he is the biggest guy and he'll "drag the boat down." This coming from Sue, the second biggest guy on the tribe.
The Saboga Tribe, which hasn't exactly excelled in the construction portions of the game to date, worked hard to build a seaworthy vessel. The Mogo Mogo gang talked an awful lot about building the raft, but eventually decided to spend a total of two minutes tying all of the wood together into a big blob that looked like a floating porcupine, with sticks randomly protruding everywhere.
Big Tom christens himself.
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Back at Chapera, Sue lambasted Big Tom for being such a drunkard who is always making rude, sexual comments. Of course this is all true; it's amazing how much time Tom has managed to spend intoxicated so far. But it was Sue who thought it was in everyone's best interest to take a whiz on their new boat.
Wasn't it Kathy who saved the day by peeing on John Carroll on Survivor: Marquesas after he was bitten by some sort of poisonous sea monster? Well, at least she had a purpose. Sue was just being Sue. Remember, Sue grew up drinking water that was infested with Beaver poop, you know.
Anyway... the tribes got together for the challenge, and learned that they could win some fishing materials and the final key to their Mystery Box. And they learned that whichever tribe came in last would be dissolved in a giant pit of acid. Well, we thought it would be cool if that's what they meant by "dissolved," anyway. In reality, the losing tribe members would be split, and would join the remaining two tribes.
Depressing music fills the air as Jenna is picked last.
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The Mogo Mogans and the gang from Chapera came in first and second, leaving the Saboga Tribe to be split up. We're somewhat suspicious that Saboga may have simply thrown the contest in favor of leaving the nasty "Casa de Rupert" behind for better digs.
The Saboga gang was split up in the same manner as school kids pick teams for various things. Rupert quickly became a new member of Chapera; Ethan and Jerri were dealt to Mogo Mogo, leaving Jenna Lewis standing there as the last, poor kid to be picked. We can definitely remember those days in school when we were typically the last kid to be picked for dodgeball, or whatever. It certainly wasn't fun when we were picked last. But at least the school didn't play weepy music as we stood there before our classmates like they did as Jenna stood there, waiting to be picked.
Upon entering his new camp, Ethan immediately builds a giant nest.
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The Mogo Mogo gang located the key to their Mystery Box, which turned out to be The Big Box O' Mooshy Rice. The nice stash of rice had gotten all wet, presumably from the torrential rain storms they have experienced, as opposed to having a tribemate peeing on the box or something.
Soon it was time for the Immunity Challenge. Each tribe had to carefully balance themselves over a series of thin boards so they could retrieve flags for their team. One catch was that if members of opposing teams happened to meet at a certain bridge, they would have a "showdown."
Amber uses Fung Shui, or some sort of ancient Japanese technique, to remain amazingly balanced.
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This gave several people a fun opportunity to beat the living hell out of their competitors. Ethan took quite a thwacking from Boston Rob. Big Tom hit the water hard enough to dislodge another lobe of his brain, but again, nobody could detect a difference in his actions or speech. Richard Hatch decided to whip out his Secret Throbbing Weapon in order to defeat Sue.
Thanks largely to the efforts of Boston Rob, who managed to sprint through the boards as though they weren't there, the Chapera Tribe won immunity, sending the new Mogo Mogo Tribe to its first dreaded Tribal Council.
Rich does some pre-boot pouting.
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The Mogoans had a few hours to scheme and plan before heading to Tribal Council. After debating whether to ditch Ethan, Colby or Rich, they finally decided they had seen enough of Rich's blur. Cocky Rich, and his little, um, "cocky" friend, walked the plank for the first time. Jeff Probst had the honor of snuffing out the biggest flamer in Survivor history. It was a moment we have been eagerly awaiting since way back in 2000 when we watched him earn enough votes to beat Kelly "The Wiggler" Wiglesworth.
Speaking of the first edition of Survivor, it looks like we'll have a bit of a flashback in the next episode. Sue appears to freak out at Jeff Probst in the previews, carrying out a dream many of us have had!
Insightful Commentaries:
The Amazing Race
Survivor: All-Stars
Survivor: Australia
