Water Cooler Talk from Two Guys Who Look Alarmingly Similar
Week 11
Well, it's April 15th, Tax Day, and Kathy was simply unable to file an extension to keep herself in the game a little longer.
You know, we have had plenty of time to come up with a clever opening line for this column, and that is the best we came up with. Yeesh. You should see the opening lines we rejected.
The show began with some nasty rain, and some moping around as the gang got home from Tribal Council, having sent Lex and his tattooed butt out of the game. Ever since Jerri was booted off the island a few weeks back, there has been a tremendous lack of whining on the show, but Kathy and Shii Ann did a fine job of picking up the slack.
Jenna reads Tree Mail, written in Big Tom-ese.
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The castaways were surprised to get an early morning edition of Tree Mail, which was barely readable thanks to the downpours. We thought it would have been fitting if Big Tom had read the mail because the words were smeared all over the paper, which seems to match Tom's speech patterns most of the time.
The challenge described in the Tree Mail would be both for Immunity and Reward. And it involved a giant obstacle course that would take us about 600 words to describe, so we'll leave it at this: "it was a fancy obstacle course." The first four finishers, playing as a team, would win rain parkas, hot cocoa, and the infamous Letters From Home.
Turns out Rupert's family members look nothing at all like Selma and Patty after all.
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The second part of the challenge would offer Immunity to the winner and a chance to view a videotape from home. Jeff offered to show everyone a snippet of each video as everyone prepared for the challenge.
Remember way back on the original series of Survivor when Greg Buis got his tape from his sister, and she was completely whacked out of her mind? We still vividly recall that particular tape, nearly four years later.
We weren't treated to any spectacles like that this time around, however. In fact, we were surprised by just how normal everyone was. For example, we couldn't wait to see what Rupert's family looked like, thinking they would be a little "out there," or at least they'd all speak with that same gruff voice or something. In all honesty, the image of Patty and/or Selma from The Simpsons is pretty much what we had in mind.
Amber's sister, Nicole, and niece Emma, emit powerful Attractiveness Rays.
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Well, it turns out that not only is Rupert's wife "normal," we couldn't help but notice that she was bordering on Hot Babehood. And his daughter was equally adorable. Who knew?
Of course Amber's family was well-represented by her sister Nicole and her parents, Val and Cheryl. They're an awesome bunch of people, and they and all of their friends are all very attractive people.
In fact, one of the reasons we have enjoyed being friends with them over these past few years is that we have been secretly hoping that their Attractiveness Rays would beam onto us, somehow making us better-looking over time. We're not sure it has had much effect just yet.
Jenna and the rest of the castaways lamented the loss of imaginary grandmothers.
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Unlike that first season of Survivor, Jenna's family did indeed decide to send a tape along this time. We have a feeling that her family didn't procrastinate when it came time to submit this tape.
We must say we did get a kick out of viewing Big Tom's tape, made by his son, Mini-Me.
We also found it interesting that all of the tapes happened to mention that each of the castaways' favorite grandmothers had died while they were taping the series, apparently as some sort of strategy to gain sympathy among fellow contestants.
Lex, hoping to parlay his Survivor experience into a lucrative career, auditions for a role as Mr. Clean.
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A team consisting of Amber, Rob, Alicia and Shii Ann won the first leg of the competition, earning them letters from home. Rob, a.k.a. Captain Immunity, won the second portion of the challenge by solving a puzzle.
At the conclusion of the contest, Boston Rob offered to give up his reward of viewing his tape from home, in exchange for allowing everyone else to receive their letters from home. Rob later noted that this was a true act of kindness out of the goodness of his heart. Although it could have been purely a strategic move. It depends on which side of his mouth was speaking at the time.
Shii Ann, hoping to parlay her Survivor experience into a lucrative career, auditions for a role in an ad for Kleenex.
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Jeff Probst accepted the offer, and everyone was able to read more about the fictitious misfortunes of their various grandmothers.
Once everyone finished their letters, everyone began the usual wheeling and dealing to stay in the game, with Kathy making an attempt to steer votes to Amber rather than herself.
Well, neener neener neener, Kathy has been vaporized. The Tax Man cometh. (Note to selves: come up with better end to article later.)
Insightful Commentaries:
The Amazing Race
Survivor: All-Stars
Survivor: Australia
